Can two walk together unless they are agreed? The rate of divorce in Zambia is going up. Divorce rates are also high in the church. People who should be setting the moral examples are now seen to be falling short.
This world is governed by laws. Just as everyone succumbs to the law of gravity whether rich or poor, politician or cadre, preacher or atheist, so there are laws that govern a successful marriage.
A couple ought to understand that men and women are wired differently and will therefore respond to things differently.Once this simple fact is accepted a lot of problems will be avoided.
Marriage is like a flower that wants watering every day or else it will be destroyed. So we must not rest on the fact that now that we are married we should not show any interest in our partner but let things as they come. It takes a lot of trouble and struggle to maintain quality and a genuine relationship. Every day we need to show our interest in our partner not only in words but also in deeds.[pullquote]Lets honor our marriages for good marriages breed good families which in turn breed good, strong societies.
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Women generally are emotional beings, tend to talk a lot and love details. It is important for a husband to actively listen to his wife when she talks and show interest.A response like ‘hmmm’ doesn’t count.Husbands cherish and love your wives.Treat her well and she will make you happy.
In the context of marriage you have to give your partner the attention he/she deserves. You should not always deal with your work or children and neglect your partner. The principle is that you should have a balance in your life, so as to manage your time efficiently and have enough time to devote to your partner and family.
Men are generally more logical and tend to overlook details like women do. Ask a man how his day was at work and the answer will be – fine.A man can not multitask.It probably is not a good time to seek his attention when he is watching the England vs Germany football game.A wife who does not adhere to this simple rule will be destined for disappointment.
Apart from a lot of sex, men generally want their wives to hold them in high esteem.Men have fragile egos and a women who disrespects her husband privately or publicly just wounds him in ways she may never understand.
Showing lack of respect to our partner, whether occasional or on a permanent basis, is perhaps the biggest mistake that we do. When respect is not mutual in a marriage then it is more likely that marriage will end up in a disaster.
Every couple should have a clear vision of what they want their marriage to be. The word vision means ” mental sight – the ability to see a goal or destination. If you do not have a clear vision of where you are going, how will you know when you have arrived? How will you know when you are on the wrong path?
When you have a vision of success before you, you will naturally behave in such a way that causes success to happen. Every couple goes through difficult times but a vision encourages you in those difficult times. Lets honor our marriages for good marriages breed good families which in turn breed good, strong societies.
Nicely said , but its easier said than done, all we can do it try our best , some men are just hmmmmm..
men hmmmm you can’t live with them you can’t live without them! Damm theres still two more weeks of football-its affecting my sex life.
Who ever the author of the above article is, and I don’t even want to know, it’s completely biased. Problems don’t only arise from the male side. My advise….do more research before you make a fool out of yourself. 😕
I did not even know that the word F.O.O.L is forbiden on LT…..yangu tata. 😮
#2 Jullie, i can assist you:d:d
no thanks tonga bull…. my husband take me places only he can..I’m happy and can’t wait for July 11
Guys, need advise, what do you do when your wife seems to be troubled & when u ask them all they answer is nothing is wrong. U only see it in her actions, roughly answers you ( impolite) etc but cant really figure out what is wrong. Let me know how u handle such issues.
many marriages in Zed is business, you can buy a wife from K50,000 “fifte pini lobola” even if theres no love from the girls side, as long as the old men has a few ngwees to pay off the poor parents of the girls and enough to wipe off the girls shame for marrying old grandfathers. How on earth can any one understand how a grandfather 35 years older than his bride, can be loved for who he is and not his possessions! Lovers hold hands in public, why dont we see that with married partners who are suppossed to be in love in Zed? :-\”
#3 i dont understand y u r so offended by this, is it a case of hiting a nail on the head?
walasa.?
#7 Fabian, y let it get to a point were ur woman can express her self, this is what this article s talkin about, try to communicate,
Ba Jullie #6…twapapata pulizi 8-|. Umwana ashenda… Do you really want to tell us what your husband does? He takes you to places, yeah? What if he buys two sets of tickets …
welcome ba Joylyn, we need new faces here but please comment on the written article with your views that may educate us instead of your private life with your husband if your are at all marriage. your are our African married sister and we expect you to be a bit private especially on sex life with your legal husband. mwilaleta ifya pabusanshi pacintubwingi ngamwalifundwa. anyway, once more you are welcome. looking forward to read your views
KK is on CNN!!!:)>-
Zambia on CNN bane! But then many of you are in offices in’it? lol………. KK singing a love song for his wife Betty.. (a song he wrote for her when he was coxing her)
#9,Joylin, yes, I am hiting the nail on its head. I am not really offended but this author simply wants to kick up some dust so that readers like you and me can start ukufwayana. :)>- Which I am extremely good at. Not like Tonga Bull @ #5. I don’t assist but I give 100%, waumfwa? ?l-) Anyway, here is to you @};-
Zed marriages are boring no kissing hugging or romance… just wham bam thank you ma’am i hope you’re satisfied! That’s why i married a Muzungu for 23 yrs now:x
Iwe chi Balloon, we have watched that aready. Waba kwi? Atase! :)>-
@ #16, I bet you have never tried a real Mandigo. :)>-
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# 7 – Just give her a surprise by inviting her to some quite place were you can chat like at Football match, arcades or something. Mind you, talk good side of her and she will forget the past!
🙂 You have just said it. Kabili chintu chandi. you either leave it alone or take it deep down your throat…..Ms. lady in Red. Oh! and by the way, I was just listening to that song a couple of hours ago. I am sure you are looking good tonight. How about a little romance Ms.? ^:)^
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# 16 Misty Haze mulifontini sana. I would like to see that white thing you are married to. Zambian women are well groamed. I dont think you ever had a girlfriend from Zed. Mwaletina shikulu. How can you say Zambian marriages are boring if you have never been married to a Zambian before.? I bet that 23 years is full of pretence and being RULED.
#7 when a woman says nothings wrong she means everythings wrong can’t you see? You have to be sensitive ask her again and sit and listen to what she has to say.Hold her and do all the romantic things she likes.Warning: that is not the time s.ex
#11 Nachale I won’t tell you what my husband does and no he doesn’t have two tickets.I provide enough to last 100 tickets.By the time we are done he really only has time to make money.
#23 Motzepe, where did you get the idea that Misty Haze is a mans name you loser, kwerekwere wa ku soweto, I bet your zambian wife has elephant ears between her legs legs for you to swing on. Since when did you ever see your parents showing each other affection other than on each others throats? iwe kabwa! Not all black men and women in inetracial marriages have older partners! I met mine at the University of Kent, where we both studied. Chimbwi iwe…………
#24 Jullie you have already said he takes you places and now you’re saying by the time you’re done with him… wow! I hope you have good shock absorbers on you. Men can be nasty baby.
#26 Nachale don’t worry we aint that crazy! you don’t need so much force to put two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together just skill and lotsa love. :d
#23 Motsepe, have you seen your groamed parents on This week in pictures? Oh there are pic#12:o…do they look like there’s any hope for romance at all:-\”
Moderator & Motsepe, balimilishya, ayabishi, aya Uuma, nabamalinso mwali lya…. ati love yaboza!!!
Some of the comments here seem to come from immature people. For sure, with such comments how do you expect the marriages of the commentators to work out? Grow up people and learn to discus issues maturely.
25# You sound very bitter. You must be an old folk if you have been married for 23 years but very childish. Why all the insults? You are a disgrace. You dont know my parents but from your comments you look upon your parents as very backwards. Shane on you. And for your information SOWETO is a city on its own. It has more infrastructure than Lusaka.
29# & #29 I pity for you guys. You are really in the past. Ubututu tabupwa.
#31, look back at your comments, maybe you will know why? You started the name calling!!!!! Which part of soweto are you, Ooooo sorry Jo’burg, in a matchbox house, tin house, or the Slums ? blk southafricans depise you there… come July11th they are preparing to kick you out of their country. All blk kwerekwere’s from Zim, Zed, Naija, Congo, etc.. pray that you wont get ” necklaced and get back home to smell the coffee. Seems you dont know much about your country, all you want to see is the fine trimmings and dressing in’it? Did you hear of the family father of 5 from zim they lit alight? Now…ex- kwerekwere. Get back to the land of broken promises before its too late, mate! Try and make a difference then, instead of yapping about love when you dont have a clue what love is.