By Daimone Siulapwa & C.M
This time around, forget the politics for a moment and let us look at the social aspect of life…. Am sure my newly acquired blog friends like, Red Card-Free at Last, Senior Citizen , Mr. Capitalist – 3 E’s steering economic growth , msana wanzili , Observer , Zed Patriot , MB, realist, Maestro Hhehhehhehhe for 2011 would-b President of Zambia HH, Independent Observer, georgeWbush will enjoy this one and continue to guide us in our free of insult discussions.
WHAT would the world be without women?
They encompass everything that makes man able to face another day. They are child bearers, home-makers, multi-taskers, intelligent human beings and everything that a woman should be.
They are nurturers who have this inborn quality to face any trial and temptation and still come out the victor. Women face many battles and many a man has been impressed at the resilience of a woman.
But women nowadays are throwing all those powerful traits to the wind and adopting a vice so bad that mother Theresa would weep if she saw the state of things now.[pullquote]These women walk into kitchen parties and ask the first person they meet, ‘where’s the booze and thank you for inviting me to Mwaka’s kitchen party’. The person they ask usually looks bewildered and stammers, ‘uhm! The booze is to your left and it’s not Mwaka’s kitchen party, it’s actually Daniel’s funeral’.[/pullquote]
Sobriety has flown out of the window with that once virtuous nature of a woman. Show me a woman without an alcoholic bottle in her hand and I will show you 10 women with almost five in one hand. Zambian women have re-defined the term, ‘party hard or not at all’.
The question is has it always been there and we just did not notice or it is actually on an increase now. Women in this day and age do not need a man for anything. They are all work smart and strutting around in heels clocking endless hours at the office trying to make more and more money to fund a rather expensive lifestyle. They are becoming even more powerful than men and are able to hold their own, be it conversation or liquor. Women are a powerful species. They are able to see past the dirt and muck and bring out the best in their children, husbands, workmates or even friends. Women have been gifted with the undeniable ability to see through the sand and pick out the diamond. That was back in the day, lately Zambian women are so boozed out, and they wouldn’t even be able to distinguish the difference between a diamond and a rotten apple.
Zambian women have taking drinking to another level. What was once seen as unacceptable and almost taboo is now an everyday thing. The rare woman that doesn’t drink is seen as an outcast and a party pooper while the drunken nut boob falling out of her shirt is seen as the ‘in’ thing. It’s a sad day when women drink like they are fish trying to drink all the water in the Kafue River, but it’s a heartbreaking day when girls start emulating what they see. Kids see what adults do and they copy that. A young girl sees the so called joy a drunken woman goes through and they envy that. Instead of being the upstanding and brilliant pupil they were meant to be, you find them sitting next to sixty year olds in the bar. It’s a vicious circle and once ensnared by its sharp claws, very few manage to climb out sober and carrying bruises only.
Now drinking for recreation is understandable and social drinking is acceptable. No one wants Zambian women to become the Pope. It’s just that even social drinking now turns into ten tequila shots and fifteen castles all in one hour at the club. Zambian women are drinking like there’s no tomorrow. Some say they drink to forget the hardships of life. Others drink because they feel it will make them an equal to men who still greatly dominant the peaks of the business world. Some women drink for fun and lose all their inhibitions in the process. Some women drink as an escape from the entrapment of poverty whilst others drink out of peer pressure.
They are many reasons why women drink. Zambian women drink to relax and party with their friends. There’s nothing wrong with that. The only qualm that arises is when Zambian women start drinking more than they are able to stand straight. Drinking from sun up till sun down is almost a cry for help and drinking from sunrise till sunset is almost like driving from Kitwe to Lusaka and using a route through Malawi; taking the longer route to solve a problem that should never have existed.
Could it be that Zambian women are competing with men? Are they trying to set their mark and set the pace for this new 21st century? Now, I’m not categorizing every Zambian woman under a drunken stupor umbrella. There are four categories of Zambian women drinkers that I have come across. They could be more but I don’t have the brain space to sit in every bar in the country with a notebook writing it down. The first are the no nonsense ‘I will drink until I drop and you will only stop me if you shoot me first’ women. They are obese, loud and obviously proud though lo and behold, no one really knows why. They dream of the next kitchen party, bridal shower, wedding, heck even funeral, to have a good time. They move around in packs and when one is drunk, look no further, for the rest of the pack is equally inebriated. They do not even wake up with hangovers anymore. They are so used; they wake up with talk time so they can call their pack up and find out where the next kitchen party is. These women walk into kitchen parties and ask the first person they meet, ‘where’s the booze and thank you for inviting me to Mwaka’s kitchen party’. The person they ask usually looks bewildered and stammers, ‘uhm! The booze is to your left and it’s not Mwaka’s kitchen party, it’s actually Daniel’s funeral’.
The second category is the calm and normal Zambian woman. She works hard and gets by. She has plenty friends and is generally a nice person. One, two, six bottles later and she’s the vampire from the dark side. Once drunk, she will beat up anything in sight and will argue with anyone who questions her intelligent thought. She goes from the woman you could take to meet your parents to the woman your parents would have arrested if they met her. All normal thought evades her mind and she becomes loud and boisterous sharing all her so-called ingenious abilities. She could be a student, a mother, a working class woman but once drunk, she resembles a monkey fighting for a half eaten banana. These women are on the rampant and they are unstoppable. Lo and behold you get on their wrong side when they are drunk for they will whip you with a bottle of booze and hug the broken pieces hoping to catch the last sip of the alcohol you made them waste on your head.
The third category is the Zambian woman who has it all. She’s hot by any man’s measure and she knows it. The more she drinks the louder she gets and even the wedding ring on her finger will not remind her when she gets all cozy with the stranger in the bar that she actually is married. No one knows where she fits all that alcohol in because at the rate she drinks, you’d think the whisky would be pouring out her ears. She’s the kind of woman who doesn’t pay for her own alcohol. Men, entrapped by her beauty and skin revealing attire will be at her mercy and they will buy drink after drink hoping they will be rewarded by night end.
The fourth and final category by my standings is the generally all right Zambian woman. She does her own thing and struts her stuff proudly because she’s a woman on the go. She parties hard and still keeps on going. She’s one who knows her limits and even if she goes overboard, she has a plan that will see her ending up in her own bed at the end of the night and not in the dustbin at the back of the club. She drinks to have fun and she knows that at the end of the day, its only alcohol and if it comes for free, then right on, pass me that Redds and if it comes at a cost, ‘thank you but I’ll pass’. She wants to fit in and she does so well, be it a barbeque or a social drink-up with the big boys. She knows her worth and doesn’t let alcohol dictate the order of her day. She uses booze as a relaxation technique rather than a life or death weapon.
Now I know, some who will read this article will be baying for my blood and calling for my head. They’ll probably be the same boozers that feel I’ve unjustly discriminated against Zambian women who just want to have fun. All I say is go on and have fun. Drink and socialize and enjoy the day. Just don’t drink to the point of shameless agony. Don’t drink like the sun will never rise again. Some will argue that who am I to say the things I’ve said. Well, I’m a nobody but I’m a nobody that’s hoping that Zambian women will regain that dignity they once possessed and that gift that men once envied. I’m hoping Zambian women will sober up and dress up.
God,help us. this is so true. We need to bring up our children in agood environment.I think the government need to regulate the imports on alcohol, this Comesa thing is reallykilling our country and our people. Ba Siulapwa, kwena mwalandfye ifishinka…
They used took cook like their mothers, Now they Drink like their Dads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What are you guys trying to say?
What is your point Daimone Siulapwa / C.M?
Surely any misuse of alcohol is equally bad whether carried out by a man or a woman? Shouldn’t this article be about how Zambians drink generally? It seems that the author finds women’s imbibing of alcohol as more abhorrent than that of men, isn’t that rather se.xist in this day and age?
The article don’t make any sense at all! Sorry to say Diamone and C.M but to me you sound very ‘S3XIST’ if you know what I mean. I do agree that drinking overboard should not be encouraged but this should not apply only to women. I am male and I think if we (men) can keep our zipas up, I am sure we wont be able to see so many of our ladies throwing up their legs in the air anyhow.
If women want to drink like men fine.However,women have more to lose than men,thats just Gods design,women can never be equal to men.YES equal oppotunities but not equal everything
@ #6, Wenye wako, iwe Wanzelu. Presuming you are black, and I tell that you are inferior to a white man, or that a white man is more equal than you. Is that God’s design or do you think it’s just a what another man wants us to believe for the sake of his/her personal gain?
Mind over matter.
The writer’s concern on our women is rather true. But whats the root cause of all this? Poverty? Loss of good morals? Influence from men? This issue require deeper analysis. No just to put a blame on our ladies.
With the onslaught of women’s lib, the general moral decadence in the country and the rather tenuous hold on godliness by many, what else could be expected? After all women are also human beings! Without a strong sound moral foundation the resultant, FOR ANYONE, is a noisy but hollow life, such as the writer is talking about.
You should see the way PALOMA behaves when she is drunk in Big Brother Africa. That woman should clearly stop drinking Period. Quite embarrassing lol
Some of these articles??? The world is revolving. Women are less conservative by the day. Gone are the days when only daddy caould drive, daddy could pay bills, daddy could drink….cathc my drift?
This is crap!
These chakolwa women are fun to have around they make the best friends with benefits. But when it comes to serious commitment with them only a fool would take them serious . It’s amazing how many women will sell their souls for some alcohol in zambia.
The writer has a very good point though some people may be in denial. Generally Alchohol abuse is a big problem in Zambia. Go to places like Chilenge and Kabwata,people start drinking as early as 8 in the morning. Young chaps look tired and old. As for women, its only in Zambia were you find ladies with utufumo twa beer. You cant miss a Zambian woman in appearance. This has also contributed to things like marital problems because husbands and wives are spending more time in bars. When you visit Zambia its rare to see friends/relatives at their homes. Ni lets meet at ……bar/pub.
Moderator # 7.Bululu this is not a racial debate but a cultural & a moral issue,Can i imagine you seated at home while your wife is having a drink at the local pub?
WHAT A LOAD OF BULL CRAP!!!!! as a zambian woman THAT DRINKS i dont see how this article is relevant. there are more women that drink responsibly than those that dont! obviously the author has had a bad experience with a drunk woman and now wants to paint us all with the same brush!!! give me a break. this is just as silly as the men that write negative articles about kitchen parties;as if they ever attend them!!!
Gelo wapa Zed #16 chill out – its not you the article is talking about..is it? Maye you also have akafumo aka beer and the artlicle is too close to home!!!!
drinking.many women these days get into the drinkin habit coz of wat they go thru and some of them u can blame them sum u cant.all dat is requried is to drink responsilbly and not gottin th dots.
I have seen more drunk women staggering down the street alone in the dead of night from where I am sitting, than I have seen back home. Let them drink if they can afford it, days are long gone when women waited for a man to take them out, we are independent now and we buy our own drink! chakukalipa? Article full of crap
I don’t see the point of this article. Have these guys done some research to back up what they’re saying – obviously nope. I’m afraid I wasted my time reading the whole article.
Bane it is a gender balanced world we are living in now.Natulenwa tulesansamuka ,gone are the day`s when different sexes had particular roles in society.This time kaufela, we only notice that one is male or female at the start.After some few drinks we become one,no adam and eve.
It is heartbreaking to see this complete breakdown in values among women. This shows the self destructive power of humanity. Take heed, the apocalyptic wiping out of life is at hand Nature has a way of controlling extremes in the universe. These social norms which have been trashed by women for a quick self gratification is all but a play at self destruction. And for that matter there is no hope in sight as things will get worse and worse. Watch this space.
Personally I do not have a problem with women drinking so long as it is done responsibly. I have an elder sister and she drinks occasionally at her home and she is a very caring and loving woman. Same with my mother. I also encourage my girlfriend to drink occasionally and enjoy herself responsibly!
Two weeks ago I was talking to my friends on how the women a drinking these days. The few times I have been out, have notice that women are drinking just like men. the worst part , is even girls as young as 16hrs, can drink the whole night. some one even wonder were are the parents of these kids? God serve Zambia
I don’t drink but I think your article is sexist (as mentioned above). The fact of the matter is that most Zambians (BOTH male and female) have a drinking problem.
What men can do women can do better!
Look at the state of Zambia, everyone is drinking to drown out their sorrows!
ha ha ha! what a coincide..just being watching a documentary on bbc3 on whats causing british women drink more than the men. its not only in zambia but every where as long as the western culture is the norm. so there is ur answer .they are all on the binge because gone are the days when ” the u cannot do this bcoz ur a woman stereotype attitude” was working. welcome to the new world..new age like the dinosaur era. don’t be sad but be happy that ur a witness to the change of human history.
This article certainly points to an important social problem in Zambia. However, the author is mistaken in assuming that this is a woman’s problem versus a Zambian problem. Further, the author is playing into stereotypes of what a woman should be. A woman who drinks and has fun can also be nurturing while a woman who doesn’t drink can be the worst mother on earth! Zambia is in it’s current economic situation because we are too busy arguing about the role of women and trying to fit them in a box rather than holding our government accountable and demanding the eradication of corruption and poverty. Lastly, people (yes, people not just women) drink for many reasons. For all we know, that woman at Diane’s funeral may have recently lost a loved one while the author makes untrue…
the article is timely please stop the rote
For me women is
my mother
my wife
my doughter and
my sister. Iwould rather they have morals… amny people who are saying its okey, its okey for them as long its not thier mother, wife, sster or doughtre but somebody;s.
the article was not written as gospel truth. it is to be taken as it is read..raw…. men, women, it need not apply..some say its crap..some say they see no point..others understand the meaning…at the end of the day, we all cant dispute the fact that the state of affairs in Zambia is despondable when it comes to matters of alcohol….
i hope all you “women” with negative comments to this article are not just player hatin’ cause mwalikwata utufumo twa beer. damn there is too much of these utufumo in zed – one can think the whole female species is pregnant, kanshi……ma painiti.
Mmmmmmmm interesting reading but sorrry do nt agree with you. Its just that society has put things in place.If I go out with my own money and decide to drink and black out…..it is my choice. Who are you to say it is wrong?
LoL…. since this article is void of empirical evidence it may be considered authored in jest.
by and large Zambian women are morally upright individuals who deserve the occasional time out from their important roles in our rigid culture.
anyone for a drink!!!!
#13 it’s amazing how many men will sell their souls for some sex in Zambia? The average woman’s body does not process alcohol as fast as the average man’s, so there is somewhat of a biological difference. But this description of the saintly woman is similar to the idea of a “noble savage”: it makes women separate from men in false ways (separate is not equal). Also, it then hides or makes light of the alcoholism rampant among men; I’ve known many men that have wrecked themselves and their families with their drinking. I had one acquaintance who was a church elder at the local UCZ and liked to imbibe tea wine every night at home. His wife didn’t drink at all, probably because she knew she’d be judged. Yet he spent the little money that he (and she) had, but it was okay because…
its suprising how 1 can mix red label an tequila wit jack daniels nd to couple it all wit red buzz in one glass nd a lit cigaret in the other hand…wats hapening wit sam women?