Every country has traits and characteristics peculiar to it, whether it be a way of doing something or a way of talking. Before I came to Zambia, I didn’t use the 24-hour clock. It was taken for granted that if you arranged to meet someone at 2:30, in all likelihood you didn’t mean in the morning. Here in Zambia, tell someone you’ll see them at four o’clock, and you’ll get a look of horrified surprise. You have to be specific. It’s not even a question of adding am or pm onto the time, you have to say 16 hours or 18:30. The suffix “hours” is even used when talking of time pre-noon. You might, for instance, arrange a meeting at 10 hours or an appointment at zero-eight-fifteen.
Chances are though, that you won’t be making an appointment: that’s another Zambian characteristic. Want to see the doctor? Just turn up and wait. Sometimes you can be lucky and no one else is there, or else you can join a queue which, more often than not, does not follow usual queue etiquette.
The idea of privacy is also something of an unknown where a visit to the doctor’s is concerned. While explaining your ailment, you may be interrupted by a knock at the door because someone has come to pick up their tablets (these are dispensed from a cupboard in the doctor’s surgery, not a chemist). Or perhaps a salesman has arrived and wants to show the doctor what type of antibiotics he has this month, or maybe it’s the lab technician from the hospital with blood test results and he wants to be paid before he leaves. Though frustrating, it’s not as bad as when you are visiting the gynaecologist for an internal examination and her teenage son comes in to collect his pocket money.
Lack of privacy is not confined to the doctor’s surgery. Beauty salons are usually places of great discretion. Therapists practise behind drawn curtains and most operate a “do not disturb” policy while they are seeing a client. Most ladies don’t want their partners and husbands to know that they have their chins plucked and their moustaches regularly removed, never mind half the population of the town. Not in Zambia.
The most interesting experience I had in this regard was when another client turned up while I was having my legs waxed. I was told that she had made an appointment before I had (appointment? What appointment?) and therefore would I mind waiting outside for a moment. So, covered with little sticky bits of wax, I removed myself to the waiting area. The client, who was a young girl of 13 or 14, went inside to have her armpits waxed, while her mother apologized profusely to me. I eventually had my turn again, and when leaving the salon was surprised to see the mother and daughter still there. They had been in no hurry at all and were waiting to have tea with the beautician!
The idea of keeping quiet during play performances, musical concerts and church services is also a foreign one, as people talk on their phones and greet each other with apparently no sense of where they are or who they may be disturbing. The chewing of gum is a national pastime, at all times and in all places. My partner, who is a teacher, had to ask a parent to remove a piece of gum from her mouth as he couldn’t understand what she was talking about.
Zambia is indeed a country of contradictions. The driving is horrendous, and yet drivers hoot at each other for the smallest misdemeanors. Everybody has a mobile phone, yet no one rings you back, even though they say they will. And despite all the emphasis on getting the time exactly right, everybody is constantly late. Whether it’s a 12- or 24- hour clock, we’re on African time here.
Do you have an expat experience you’d like to share? Email no more than 1,000 words to [email protected]
[http://www.telegraph.co.uk]
welcome to Zambia mama….but don’t be fooled…these differences in attitudes can be found in every country! I am sure my fellow citizens in diaspora could come up with a few stories or too….although I am curious..waxing in Zed? a new one for me…must investigate..and for sure the author must have been in cheaper surgeries/ salons for her treatment. Sometimes one has to spend a bit more cash for better service, which is true of any country….anyway, I hope she has had more positive experiences…I am sure the article is just a light-hearted one anyway!
Keep enjoying Zambia..it’s a wonderful place with good people once you ignore our silly politics and our unfortunate poverty and corruption…yaba..missing a nice nsima, rape and T-bone off the braii right now..:((
Guess the Author is still in zambia, and i do not think she even wants to go back to where she comes from. Zambia is just too nice a country- VIVA zambia mayendele mu zambia
Who published this nonsense.?
Total exagerattion by some stoopid woman who does not really know Zambia.
But she is white, so she is believable. Shame on you Lusaka Times!
Ridiculous article – she must have been seeing a witch doctor not a medical practitioner. about the leg waxing its not Zambia’s fault that Zambian women do not have hairy legs like them as for the moustache no comment. And there is nothing wrong with the 24 hour clock – the scientific community uses it. Silly racist colonial woman and I hope some responded in the Telegraph to tell her as much!
NB: POSTINGS FROM THE TELEGRAPH WEBSITE:
simunza
34 minutes ago
I think it sad that this expat has decided to make generalisations out of experiences she has had in one or two places.
Would the Guardian welcome an article on how racist England is based on the one encounter I had in Swindon? The author could complain on matters with regards to breach of ethics to the Zambia Medical Association but then again, I guess she thought it would be a juicier story to tell if she made us look bad.
It’s these lies and sad “expat” attitude that alienates people like the author from the rest of the population. This therefore disqualifies them from telling an proper story – a true story of the country that hosts them.
She doesn’t even mention which city she is having this experience in … and I thought that Zambia being a country would be more complex than this.
Maybe the English are racist … :-P
muchemwa
34 minutes ago
I find it a little funny, but in a disgusted kind of way that a person that has lived in my country for a couple of years can try to judge MY people because of the one or two UNFORTUNATE experiences that she has had. I say unfortunate because clearly she seems to be going to all the WRONG places in Zambia and i am sure that every country in this world has a few of those.
Anyway…despite the fact that the Zambian is very hospitable, friendly, peaceful (things she ironically forgets to mention)…i am amused at the extent of this WOMANS spitefulness at a country in which her husband now earns a living from! It tells you something about her character. She thrives in negativity and enjoys looking at our world from the pedestal of the world that she comes from.
Reality check huh? Its even more interesting that she does not venture to provide a solution for any of the problems that she has encountered, instead she goes all out to crucify a country that puts a roof over her head. I will tell you this…i have worked for the donor community in Zambia and they all love it here. In fact a lot of them rarely want to go back to the slums they have come from. They live in plush houses, in pretigious communities (Leopards Hill, Kabulonga, Ibex Hill, Sunningdale, along tarred roads and manicured loans)…drive some of the most expensive luxury cars, very good schools for their children, unlimited access to some of Zambia’s well preserved wildlife and i could go on.
However when they are writing to the rest of the world..they want to portray this country as back ward…they want to give you the impression that its all stick and stones out here…when the TRUTH is…THEY JUST DON”T WANT YOU TO KNOW THE TRUTH…and that is that they are happy here and that they will make more money being here then you ever will being there and so the bottom line is they would rather you stay there and not stiffen the competition down here.
lastly if My country is really that PATHETIC…ill mannered and time UNCONSCIOUS…she could simply pack up her bags and leave but i could bet you a million dollars i do not have that, that can only happen over her DEAD BODY!
mukulaikwa
Today 11:06 AM
I live in Zambia. The article is spot on in most areas. The one about the gynaecologist is hogwash though, not in a million years would that happen. If u live in Zambia long enough u eventually figure out which clinics to go to and which ones are a no no. The best ones will offer an international standard of medical care while the not so good ones…..well, u enter at your own peril.
Amusing article.
The author is merely promoting Zambia on foreign media – I do not see anything wrong with this and we might get a few tourist spending some money in Zedee looking for the same kind of experience. Zambia is what it is, you cannot change it, let alone change RB and MMD!!
poverty, lack of education and exposure is a disease that we must try to heal from ourselves as African. this lady has exposed her experiences she has witnessed in our country in comparison to hers. most of which are true. all we can do is write as well and exposed some of the things we have seen from her culture which we think are inhuman.
examples
we keep our parents at home until death, they send them to nursing home
we educate our children for free, they count as loan and demand for it later
neighbourhoods are like families, you may never know your neighbour
you cant offer a prayer in a public institution- we pray everywhere
we share beds, bedrooms and food – they cant even when they cant afford
the list is endless. but all in all, Africa is better than most continents we…
It is evident, this article comes from a racist- minded white trash tourist who is not ready to learn and appreciate Zambial cultures. Does he or she wants everybody to be the same? Has the author ever visited Nigeria? Let her try, only then that he/she will appreciate Zamia. I know of white fellows who, after living in Zambia for a few years decide to settle and even marry zambians citing the hospitality and peaceful character of Zambians. Here is my advice to the author: emmerse and learn in order to appreciate.
The truth hurts. Country men lets call a spade a spade. I love my country regardless.
the white tarsh- listern, you always shave your legs and most of you white trash do not even shave pa ntwono, it is always bush- that is is how we love our zambia- kabiye oko wafuma- tombolilo iweee
the writer should be grateful that people in Zambia are warm and helpful towards one another. In the west people die on the street and everyone walks by.
Honey just enjoy the hospitality, if you are not happy, go back to your country where waxing legs is important.
I like the article. It’s a view of our country through other eyes. It can be said that Zambians also have a hard time taking criticism. No wonder or government thinks it knows it all. It is made of Zambians like many other above bloggers. Wake up!
I fthis stupid woman doesnt like zambia she can leave n go back wherever she camr from. Here she can even afford luxury of having a wax done. In her country she does it herself. She doesnt even own a car n uses a bus/train(subway)
You are free to leave!
By the way why should expat teachers be given work permits? Can a zambian be given one that easily? Nonsense!
Haha the phone thing is very true , people in zambia have the latest phones money can buy and yet somehow credit to call is too expensive. Everyone pages you to call them and gets angry if you do not calll them back. As with simple manners like politeness and being courteous your social status will determine how you will be treated. The driving in zambia is damn near suicidal , I remember getting into a cab with a drunk cab driver who almost killed me and my mates. One thing the author forgot is zambians cannot stand criticism especially from a foreigner, any form of criticism is jealousy or ‘hating’.
so true slumdog…
some of the language used to describe this woman has been disgusting to say the least…Can we criticise the msg, not the unknown person. Listen, aside from rubbish like the doctor’s visite and the salon what she says is true.
Let’s learn to take criticism..isn’t that what we want for our politicians? for them to take the heat when deserved. With some of the attitudes on display here, it’s no wonder some people in power cry foul even when the criticism is legitimate!
.Driving horrendous in Zambia?? It just shows that this lady has not been to places. Visit Hanoi, Lagos, Muscow or India.
The thing on time keeping is not “zambian”It occurs in other places.On hooting/bad driving africa/asia/latinamerica happens all the time and this only exposes the authors limited worldview.The other hogwash physician heal thyself first.You perverts have nudist colonies,strip bars,pornstars and swingers where the whole world sees your”goods” unlike zed with 1/2 a village.What says you if your western bros in USA walk showing underpants to be “cool”,most europeans find americans loud,obnoxious,men sleep with men,indians being offended by Gere kissing in public,leaving your parents to die in a nursing home.e.t.c.In short what is in zambia pales in comparison to the crass behaviour seen by the rest of the world coming from the “civilised” west.Heal thyself first.
Time yes, the rest blatant lies. Why go to cheap saloons, am in the States and i feel the same way when i visit
some place yet i dont generalize. Driving horrific in Lusaka, try New york! Lets promote the counrties that feeds us positively whilst work on the items that need improvement. Zambia is a great place!!!!!
Time yes, the rest blatant lies. Why go to cheap saloons, am in the States and i feel the same way when i visit
some place yet i dont generalize. Driving horrific in Lusaka, try New york! Lets promote the counrties that feeds us positively whilst work on the items that need improvement. Zambia is a great place!!!!!:-:**==
@ Galileo Galileo. Zambia is not a celebrity and therefore bad publicity is exactly that-bad publicity. It will in future distort readers opinions of us and hamper their decisions to do business with us or allow themselves to get to know us because of her obviously very biased and negative opinion of our country. Don’t forget that it took a couple of negative comments in the press about George Bush jr and his policies and soon a large majority were jumping on the “we hate USA” bandwagon. It only takes a couple of articles like this to encourage racist and intolerant beliefs about us. My problem isnt that she criticised us. Fair enough most of what she said was true. I would not have thought the article offensive if she put at least one experience that made working in our country…
The health care in the UK is worse. You are put on waiting list for 2 years. In any case what is there in the UK to show for. Its so cold and they live in darkness for 6 months.
This muzungu was just frustrated that he was leaving the beatiful Zambia.
It seems to me that the author of this article lacks a decent education. It’s either 12 hour or 24 hour clock. It would a disaster if a teenager was allowed access to the gynae’ ward, worse still to ask for pocket money. And I have seen any doctor or clinical officer in a public clinic or hospital dispensing drugs. They only prescribe and then you either get the drugs from the dispensary or you go and buy from the chemist. This woman was too quick to criticize everything about Zambia. We have phones but not for calling an obnoxious, uneducated white woman like. Am always calling my girlfriend in the US because she can only text messages and facebook. Open your eyes woman. Zambia is simply the best.
If this is the kind of crap that British newspapers are willing to publish it just shows how patronisingly they still want to look at Africa. No self respecting editor would pass such a story unless they only have the ulterior motive of smearing a nation if not a race. It is not only full of sweeping statements but these are all from one source; the writer. The article is as obtusely one sided as the saying that Livingstone discovered the Mosi-oa Tunya Falls perpetuated by Europeans of course! These Britons should just come out in the open and put these kinds of articles under a column they want to call “Lets sneer at those Africans” For those of you who think this is light-hearted; this is just racism couched in journalism
All the experiences are imagined, certainly not real, perhaps derived from one mauvais experience. Such negative experiences are not the preserve of Zambia; they are found everywhere. The writer must have gone to the doctor 20 times to have the different experiences she has listed: interrupted by a knock on the door, anti-biotics salesman has arrived; lab technician with blood test results interrupts, teenage son comes in to collect pocket money. What crap! Stories have to show an attempt at getting two sides. Telegraph keep your Britain I will keep my Zambia!
Calm down! I find this article light hearted and endearing about Zambian life. I cannot deny any point made. Some people on this forum are arguing that if you go to a more expensive place, then the quality would be tetter; but that is not the same as saying such things do not happen in cheap places, and that is the point of the article. It appears that most Zambians have developed such thin skins that anything riles them.
Zambia’s health care is better?!are you dumb or dumber?!!you don’t get to sleep on the floor like at UTH, free health care and nurses don’t just sit and chat, there’s enough doctors to see you even in the most remote places, people just don’t die while waiting for medical assistance. Its time africans stopped being primitive and understood what standard are,that’s why we easily ripped off by our politicians and our politicians are easily ripped off by western companies and all we say is its okay its zambia,that’s how thing’s work. It’s normal for politicians to fight like little kids, people vote without understanding policies and how they will affect them, may be thats because majority of zambians didn’t complete their education. How many people have degrees in zambia in comparison to…
the west?accept it we are far behind and are still playing catch-up, we went from a developing nation to least developing nation. Africa is a continent of pity, and we love it being felt pity for, donor money and disease ravage us instead,political militias are accepted by our leaders because african politics has no time for reason, we have no ideology except of that of where we come from tradition tradition and bloody tradition. We live in a capitalist society and we have to realize it’s clutches will disadvantage the poorest and africa is the a poor continent so it’s time we got off our bums and started to protect our interests. We’ve lost so much talent through the brain drain because our leaders don’t realize their worth. our nurses strike and they are told you’ll all lose your jobs…
because you don’t matter Zimbabwean nurses are ready for hire, is it normal to threaten the social security of zambians with the hiring foreign workers?We are a continent of sub-standard services and goods and we accept it, which is the most saddening part of all. and very typical of people on zambian website who don’t know how to use constructive criticism or analysis,love foul language and use so-called ignorant patriotism, the same exhibited by our “leaders”
EXPARTRIATES IN ZAMBIA GENERALLY ENJOY BETTER QUALITY OF LIFE THAN IN THEIR COUNTRIES OF ORIGIN. WHETHER THEY ARE IN BUSINESS, FOREIGN SERVICE OR EVEN AS VOLUNTEERS THEY EARN MUCH HIGHER THAT THE LOCALS. EVEN IF A COKE COSTS $50 AT INTERS THEY CAN STILL AFFORD IT. THAT WAY THEY KEEP AMENITIES QUITE UN AFFORDABLE TO THE CITIZENS. THE EXPARTS ARE ONLY TOO HAPPY TO HAVE THE FACILITIES TO THEMSELVES. HOWEVER AS SOME CITIZENSRISE ON TH SOCIAL SCALE THEY NOW MANAGE TO GO TO THE UPMARKET FACILITIES LIKE THE PRIVATE CLINICS AND BEUATY SPAS. THIS IS REALLY ANNOYING TO PEOPLE LIKE THE AUTHOR WHO NOW TRY TO DISCREDIT OUR WAY OF DOING THINGS. WHENEVER I TRAVEL I KEEP AN OPEN MIND THAT THINGS COULD BE DONE DIFFERENTLY WHERE I AM GOING. NOT NECESSARILY WRONG BUT DIFFERENT.
The woman is an absolute liar –waxing in Zambia? patient having tea with the beautician? we wax at home and we don’t drink tea to pass time other than as breakfast at home. The whole gyn and doctor visits are absolute scums. Not once have i been in a Dr’s room and get interrupted and i am talking about cheap dr’s rooms. Zambians chewing gum more than Americans?
what is true however is the failure to keep time and the talking during performances. The rest are imaginations from an aging British woman seeking validity.
While this woman has made some fair and true observations she strikes me as one who has made and generalised a few incidents she enccountered or maybe even just heard.. And to an extent, i cant help to suspect that shes added a few things just to spice up her story. Its not everyday that one person goes to a Dr and ends up being interupted by somone budging in, the same person goes to see a gynea and a kid walks in, again same person goes to the saloon and gets interupted. This to me doesnt sound like a coincidence. I think some of the issues she is talkig about are things she must have just heard from others (her fello shallow minded, prejudiced foreighners)
Ladies, is this not true?
‘Most ladies don’t want their partners and husbands to know that they have their chins plucked and their moustaches regularly removed, never mind half the population of the town.’
Quite funny!
This story is way too exaggerated! Teenage boy walks in while this little white girl is having her pu-nani examined by the gynae! really?…give us a fckin break you little tart. There’s nothing wrong with honestly writing about your experiences in Zed but when you start dreaming up hollywood stories just to get 15 minutes of fame, then you cross the line. Fellow Zambians, don’t be fooled. These chaps lead a lavish life in Zed which they could only dream of back in London (Kabulonga house + spacious backyard, maids, excellent weather, 4×4 SUV etc). Kwabo ni tube/bus/train, terrible weather, NO domestic help, shoebox house/flat, Ford fiesta!!! This little tart is free to return to the UK with her ka teacher husband. Such clowns don’t add any value to mother Zed anyhow.
i think this lady is probably staying in kalingalinga and is broke and bringing out her frustrations has she ever been to other countrys to see how horrendous drivers are? Probably lets start with her own,her story is pure exaggeration ,which doctor was see seeing Kabwela kumanda! Please
#37 Obviously that is not true..half the population of the town! Which town by the way? Lusaka?
WHAT TRIBE IS YOUR WOMAN?
LOZI WOMAN
? Beautiful and tall. Intelligent. confident
? Good with their husbands / boyfriends. His Family does not matter and a bit selfish to his family if he is not Lozi.
? Very independent. Every Lozi is their relative and whoever speaks their native language is an honorary Lozi.
? Care free at work, meetings and in public places.
? Don’t fight for what is theirs and stingy ( e.g. boyfriends & husbands)
? Classy; likes nice things (house, furniture e.t.c) but cannot take care of them.
? Not very good cooks but once the learn how to cook a dish they are compared to none.
? Antisocial to other tribes. Mixes well with Tongas.
? They will kill you if you don’t provide Mabisi, Bangos or whatever traditional foods
TONGA WOMAN
? Not very clever
TONGA WOMAN
? Not very clever. Very good to their men
? Very dependent on their men
? Will accept to be cheated on
? Not very classy,infact very backward
? Will have your house sounding like the Lwiindi ceremony with her ever speaking Tonga.
? Her relatives will invade your home without proper timing.
? Will also kill you if you don’t provide Mabisi ,bangos or waist beads( chisasa )
? If you don’t bring a parcel home to this one, you are not worthy.