DIVORCE cases in Zambia have skyrocketed, a trend some marriage experts say is alarming.
And the experts have cited unfaithfulness, drunkenness, lack of communication, violence, finances, parental interference and early marriages as prime contributing factors to divorce.
FORMER National Legal Aid Clinic for Women director, Maureen Samulela said divorce cases were on the increase because of varying factors.
Ms Samulela said early marriages were a pressing factor because couples were not able to make decisions on their own in an event of a misunderstanding. Instead, they opted to seek advice from friends.
“Most of the victims are young and do not exercise the ability to make decisions on their own but are advised by influential friends and relatives, which is wrong,” she said.
She said the time she was director at the women’s clinic, couples facing problems would first receive advice from trained counsellors and only when they failed to reconcile would they proceed with legal proceedings.
Ms Samulela said under the Matrimonial Causes Act of 2007, the reasons for divorce were clearly stipulated and divorce could only be granted if these aspects were present.
[pullquote]“Most husbands do not disclose their income and are in the habit of hiding of their payslips, a trend that causes friction in most homes,” she said.[/pullquote]
“Adultery, unreasonable behaviour and absence of at least five years immediately preceding the petition would be the only grounds for divorce,” she said.
Ms Samulela said Church marriages did not meet the requirements of the Matrimonial Causes Act of 2007 and that most couples that underwent this kind of marriage were disadvantaged because they could not be represented or acknowledged.
She said the procedure for divorcing Christian marriages should be included in the Matrimonial Causes Act because victims were not given what was rightfully theirs.
[pullquote] Magistrate Mwewa said she handled approximately 11 divorce cases in her courtroom every week, which was not the case in the past.[/pullquote]
“Since Church marriages are not recognised in the Matrimonial Causes Act, most people lose out on property settlement because their marriage certificates are not valid in the courts of law,” she said.
She said couples should not resort to divorce but dedicate themselves to marriage to preserve their families.
And Lusaka senior presiding magistrate Elipher Mwewa said divorces among couples in Lusaka had increased to alarming levels in the past decade.
Magistrate Mwewa said she handled approximately 11 divorce cases in her courtroom every week, which was not the case in the past.
“Most husbands do not disclose their income and are in the habit of hiding of their payslips, a trend that causes friction in most homes,” she said.
On drunken behaviour, magistrate Mwewa observed that this led to divorce because spouses could not adjust to the other’s behaviour.
Magistrate Mwewa said mobile phones had also contributed to the increase in divorce cases because it promoted infidelity in households.
She said women were also culprits because most of them had adopted a culture of competing with their husbands.
Magistrate Mwewa said this was unheard of in the past because women were supposed to be submissive to their husbands regardless of financial status and occupation.
“Due to empowerment, most women have adopted extravagant lifestyles and fail to stick to their budgets,” she said.
Magistrate Mwewa said women nowadays did not wash and cook for their husbands but employed maids to perform house chores.
She said parental interference was another aspect that had contributed to the high divorce rate in the country.
Magistrate Mwewa said because of parental interventions, most couples failed to withstand pressure from the parents from both parties.
“Parents involving themselves in their children’s affairs escalate the situation and in most cases the couple fails to resolve the problem and resorts to divorce,” magistrate Mwewa said.
Magistrate Mwewa said most people had a wrong perception about marriage and failed to comprehend when problems arose in the house.
“Most people are not psychologically prepared for marriage and only expect the good side of it, while overlooking the harsh reality that comes with the life-time commitment,” she said.
She said in her 18-year career as a magistrate, she had noticed that most couples failed to accept their spouse’s weaknesses and strengths, thus ending up separating or divorcing, which was not acceptable in African society.
And magistrate Hilda Choonya concurred, saying there was a rise in divorce cases in Zambia.
[pullquote]“Most people are not psychologically prepared for marriage and only expect the good side of it, while overlooking the harsh reality that comes with the life-time commitment,” she said.[/pullquote]
Magistrate Choonya said divorce cases in early marriages were rife because the couples involved were young and inexperienced.
She said statistics of divorce involving early marriage couples were high and alarming.
Magistrate Choonya said parents were to blame for the increase in divorce cases because they did not ensure their children were prepared psychologically.
“Parents have contributed to the increase in divorce cases because they do not prepare their children psychologically for the ups and downs of a marriage,” she said.
[pullquote]She said most couples aged between 23 and 45 divorced because of infidelity, drunkenness and sexual related issues. She said couples above the age of 50 usually divorced because spouses suspected their partners of practising witchcraft and other things.[/pullquote]
She said the trend by most parents to force their daughters to get married after being pregnant was another setback because in such cases, they ended up being divorced.
“Most of these youngsters are usually not ready for a life-time commitment but only concentrate on having fun, therefore, parents should not force them to marry after being impregnated,” she said.
She said most couples aged between 23 and 45 divorced because of infidelity, drunkenness and sexual related issues. She said couples above the age of 50 usually divorced because spouses suspected their partners of practising witchcraft and other things.
She said couples should be educated on the right procedures when getting married so that they could adapt and commit themselves to the marriage regardless of obstacles.
[Times of Zambia]
Bana chimbusa they just drink
The Toyota Rava 4 is to blame when we had the Fiat 127 women were not interested in driving. The what globalization can do. Before a bicycle could do.
Well said my brother well said. Stop ukukopela abasungu. I would rather we followed Chinese way of repecting culture, while remaining Christian. The churches have to speak up now.
It’s nothing to do with all those reasons given. The bottomline is that families and couples all over Zambia, especially in urban areas where you have to pay for everything, are under massive unprecedented economic stress and lack of income due to unemployment. Meanwhile, the so-called president sata is busy protecting thieves who are stealing from zambia in broad day light. There will be war in 2016.
Cannot agree more. Wisdom
I made someone’s daughter pregnant. Oh wait, it is Sata’s fault. You two are facking idio+s. Get a life and take responsibility for your own stupidi+y and ignorance.
You started well, but ended badly.
# 3 i thought PF govt has been trying hard to get thieves behind bars. Dora, Henry, Liato, various MMD leaders. And the same you are the ones crying foul. You will probably throw in an example of Nchito, Mmembe, remember Sata has no friends. He is probably working on something. Just wait and see.
Blame it all on facebook and badoo.
‘Magistrate Mwewa said women nowadays did not wash and cook for their husbands but employed maids to perform house chores.’ What in the world is wrong with that or am I the only…
Marriage is about give and take and both of you have to compromise in certain ways to sustain it.Why should it be a woman’s job to cook,clean and look after her children?Oh and also keep a high flying career on top of that.
I have never come across a rule which defined home duties per se but traditions and cultural inclinations have shaped this mentality.What is wrong with a loving Zambian husband cooking or cleaning and putting the kids to bed?He has two hands and he knows where the kitchen is so what’s the big deal?
That is the reason why marriages are breaking down
Well put mate! … just like I have never come across a rule that says only men should not hide their payslips. Seems to me whatever a woman gets for her salary has been taken to be for her own consumption alone, banking on what the husband gets. If they should learn to go it 50-50; then a man should gladly take it on the cleaning and cooking role.
#4 VINOD – Okay, I will wait and see. I’m not saying this out of just hating Sata. Sata is the president now, but his actions are raising a lot of questions. Infact the most prominent scandals and cases rocking Zambia right now have nothing to do with Sata fighting corruption but have everything to do with Sata promoting corruption and these cases will come to haunt him as soon as he leaves office. Sata is clearly turning into his true identity of a dictator.
#3.2 EDUCATED FOOL – You trully are a fool. May be this story is raising issues that are beyond your understanding. Sometimes it is better to leave space to more educated wisemen to debate. This story is not for educated fools like you.
The truth is that what worked before Zambians became exposed to the global world no longer works today. Women were brought up to look up to their husbands. This worked in the village setting where men did heavy physical work and women stayed at home to look after children. It does not work in a society where everyone needs cash to survive. Our culture needs to adapt to the changing world. Otherwise we will be sleep-walking to armageddon. Our tendency to bury our collective heads in the sand is a major problem. People are more interested in going to church to pretend that they are decent folk when their home life is falling apart all the while. The tendency to ‘leave everything in the hands of the lord’ is a recipe for disaster.
Very good analysis boss. “Only God can sort this” so they say; or leave it in the “hands of God”; and yet if you read God’s word, it clearly says work hard, provide for the family and so on. If you live by its standards, you would be happy. Alas, pa Zed it’s the opposite. Pray, in fact go over night prayers hoping you will find food on the table tomorrow. God forbid!!
# 8, so you will go to court and charge Sata with promoting corruption? I think the courts are smarter than that and will require a much more specific charge. Please provide me with JUST ONE specific charge you would submit in a court of law.
Those currently being investigated were so arrogant and and never dreamed they would dance to the music. And they are going around fomenting every manner of diversion to delay the inevitable day of reckoning.
Diplomacy may not be Sata’s strong point – he is your text book type A personality. He has a very compassionate side (e.g. the Robiana case) which at the same time annoys him when simple things do not get done. He has no interest in getting rich, so good luck in your futile vindictiveness.
very good observation.
In the new constitution lets include in pre nup agreements. i am 42 YEARS, a father of two kids but not married, i feel most women go into marriages to clean up the guy and will tie you up in a marriage because of a child.Those are some of problems which cause marriages to fail after a two year period or…So with me all my money will never be stolen from kids by some women who will marry for my money or properties. I think love has an expiry date, so a pre nup is the best. everything is for my kids and my parents considering we are dying earlier than our parents.
The biggest fools are those women who have given you the the two children!
One should marry for the right reasons, not because they have made some woman pregnant! Most of these pregnancies are unplanned, and the two are merely having some fun, and marriage is the last thing on their minds!
Lack of ‘effective’ communication in the home is one big divorce contributor! This may be due to fear, mistrust, etc etc. However, where there’s LOVE, all these things do not exist! Therefore, love is the cornerstone of marriage. Additionally, the couple must be “true friends”, and must share everything in their lives!
Well said this all we need i love my husband and he is my best friend.
@ 11, I concur with you. Can we please bloggers learn to stick to the topic. The subject matter in the story is divorces in Zambia and not Sata, and in good luck in your futile vindictiveness.
#11 MISS UNDERSTOOD & #14 DN – too many divorces in society reveal something about government policy and sata is president of this current government. As experts we know what we are talking about so I will not even go into details over that. I’m not one of those who comment on everything including things that are clearly too complicated for me. The idea of reducing criticism of government to politics everytime someone comments is i.d.i.o.t.i.c. Sata had a choice not to be president, now that he is president he must listen to criticism because unless he is God he is not perfect – unlike the way he wants to behave as if he is the perfect person, when he is actually busy picking and choosing who to prosecute and protecting his corrupt cronies so openly. Zambians are watching him!
No one is stopping anyone from criticising. People can tell constructive material from pseudo-intellectual rubbish such as yours. So give me a break “Mr expert”.
There are some challenges in life that political leadership can not address. Spiritual and moral guidance may be required and that is the responsibility first and foremost of the individual him/herself, followed by the family and then the community. Don’t place your failures and frustrations on Sata because he wasn’t there when you were busy humping someone’s daughter.
I will be happy to escort you to the court house when you go to submit your charges against Sata. Let me know the date, time and place. Until then, enjoy your bitterness
Finally women have realised that Bana Chimbusa Phenomenon is the thing of the past. Bana Chimbusa of these days have de-valued the element of marriage. they only focus on sex thats why men go astray to experience more hence HIV and divorce. Well come to reality Zambia. Church Marriages last. the bana chimbusa marriages break down in weeks. Its time church marriages were included in the Act
Its ok naimwe, kwati pali ifyupo ifya matufi! nangu fyapwa!
its okay nangu fyapwa naimwe! kwati pali ifyupo, ifya matufi!
# 7 Pippa spot on. i agree with you 100%. you are the best!
No No as a woman we have came to realise our rights. we are not slave but humans too. i can not let a man take me for a ride. serving a man? nonses. marriage is about serving each other. Bana Chimbusa will be out of business soon. To all the women the sky is the limit keep shinning.
Leken ukusabaila bane.Ifima kitchen parties have massively contributed.Women at those parties learn nothing but only go there to drink beer and do all sorts of evil things.Bana Chimbusa of nowadays are a shame.Because of these useless things,women have become something else .We are in trouble to tell you the fact.I only pray to God that my marriege will not be at stake because of these things.I do not know exactly how our government can help to curb this problem.
Bring back the marriage interference clause. Very few people would go on happily with a marriage which has had been interfered with people who are even boasting that the courts have got no say over this.
I still think people getting drunk is the number 1 reason for divorce in Zed. I saw people in tarvens at 10am already drunk, I mean thats way to early to ruin your productive day let alone by night time you have nothing left but to argue and fight, then compound that with the finance problems its not a good mix.
Because women is Zambia are getting more and more independent and they recognize that a drunk and a philanderer does not deserve a wife.
Gono, number 23 has hit the nail on the head three times. Nothing more needs to be added to his words. Alcohol has really hurt Zambia period.
The truimph of the long-trodden under-dog. Women are indeed rising and do not need to plead to drunken, jobless, John isa ulye ubwali boys pretending to be men.
We should be celebrating, not whining all these nice divorce cases..
As usual cheap reporting. This is more speculative than factual. Skyrocketed based on what figures? 11 divorces per week as higher than the same period when? Are you really paying your journalist to give such substandard information?????
It can be any reason. The probability of a divorce happening in a population that has trebbled since 1964 is higher. Perceiptions in life have also changed due to globalisation, an educated people that has triggered change in responsibilities. We are seeing more and more women taking the role of the bread winner since a husband has lost a job or is less educated etc. Even women hide their payslips as a result. `After 50 years the main cause is witchcraft`. A nice one.
Coming from a broken family en been a victim of it (DIVORCE) am not in total support of these DIVORCES going on in Zambia. May the TUJILIJILI guys respect themselves.
The reason people divorce is simple. We no longer preach LOVE. But only the LAW. Only LOVE, not the LAW will keep marriages intact.
One wise person once told me that the 3 main cause of marriage problems are; sex, money and infidelity.Infidelity creates a lot of tension and hostility in the home.Sex maybe too much or too little or non at all may also create issues.Money, again may be too much or too little or non at all.What is too much or too little is subjective to the individual therefore one needs to exercise wisdom.
Most famous American Pentecostal fire branding pastors and bishops are in their second or third marriages. What more with mere mortals. God help us.
Forcing homosexual sons to marry women.
A gradual breakdown of traditional way of life with the resultant lesser and lesser attachment to our African cultures and values evolves into soaring divorce cases.It used to be taboo for one to be divorced or have kids out of wedlock but not anymore.It used to be taboo to have sex before marriage but now we’ve heard of some zambian bearing it all by acting in a porn movie.Divorce will soar and all the attendant social ills attached to it will soar too.Sad to say it, but once you’re over the hill you always pick up speed.
MOST Zambian men are lazy, non enterprising, selfish in bed and with money. They want you to pay for everything, do everything and yet give nothing. Also moba too much! Relationships should be about give and take, not take take take [-(
Ubuchende ba mbala imwe. One partner is never enough for you…even woman, you all have to have two, three or four boy friends in addition to your broke ass diseased husband. It’s sad but it is true. One love kwasila? Mubepele fye.
Agree with Number 13!
Its a shame but its the result of enlightenment. The alternative to encourage women to shipikisha with a drunkard or a womaniser is unpalatable in the 21str century. Let men change or the figures are going to go up even higher. Such a man does not deserve a wife. My observation – the marriages ending in divorce are those UNZA/CBU marriages, you know where they met on campus. The campus guys having turned into the worst drunks, habits they picked up on campus. Imwe ba mambala when you are out drinking from monday to monday dont you wonder whats going through your wifes head? She misses male company, she misses sleeping with a real man not a limp, non-performing drunk one. You – yes you, uchinge!
The african has become confused by the invasion of Western culture. He can now marry without consent of his or her parents. Previously marriage was between two families not two people only. You had to be responsible to marry cos you were carrying your family values. The african doesn’t realise if he is so free to marry he will be equally free to divorce
I think the divorce rates are up because in the first place we dont seem to know the essence of marriage. Why do we get married? Is it to have sex, children, someone to look after us financially, to cook and clean for someone etc. One can do all these things even outside marriage maybe this is why cohabitation is on the rise. The problem about divorce is world over and will only be resolved when we realise that LOVE has no conditions and it is such a simple gift to give. when one freely gives love to another unconditionally it means that he/she is giving himself/herself the same kind of love.
it is new times,why stick to one agony for the rest of your life when you can make a change whether wrong or wright?
Unconditional love my ass. Thats baby stuff. In the real adult world there are conditions. love na njala sivinthu, love na chakolwa naye ni out of the question.
Also why is it that women are expected to do this unconditional love thing while men are given an exit strategy e.g. ubuchende bwa mwaume tautoba inganda type rules…
The focus must be on love by both men and women and not food etc all these things follow. They are not the fabric that should hold a marriage such that when they are not there then it means a marriage has to end.
One of the other contribution factors if the proliferation of the social networks like face-book. Ladies are always face-booking with their tuma old boyfriends will will easily hammer when they eventually meet. This is the same with men as well. One solution would be to open joint accounts on such social networks; this way, if faithfully enforced, you’d get to build some level of trust in your homes.
CORRECTED VERSION:
One of the other contributing factors is the proliferation and usage of social networks like face-book. These are not being handled well; it’s the “vaonekelendo” kind of scenario.
Ladies are always face-booking with their tuma old boyfriends who will easily hammer them when they eventually meet. This is the same with men as well. Ladies and gentlemen; there so many productive things waiting for you to attend to than face-booking all the time!
One solution would be to open joint accounts on such social networks; this way, if faithfully enforced, you’d get to build some level of trust in your homes. I would better still recommend dropping out of such social networks.
It is not strange to find alot f divorces in Zambia and the world at large. Copying wrong things and practices has led to the increase. Wrong advise from failures in marriage who claim to be behind gender. Most of the women, but to a lesser extent men are fond of carbon copying wrong things. There is no way that a man will have no say over the wife and vice versa. Most of the so called Bana Chimbusa in towns do not know anything apart from just confusing the marrying couple. I was married about 30 years ago through church and traditional arrangement. I can’t compare what I went through at that time to what is happening now. There are certain things that I can point out to be going wrong in the current scenario.
Long ago our mothers could not leave their husbands because they depended on them financially. Where was, for example, mrs tembo going to go with her 6 or 8 children on a secretary’s salary???? Women a long time ago were mostly unhappy in their marriages but circumstances forced them to stay – their husbands cheated, beat them, sometimes even chased them from their homes. If they dared divorced their husbands, they would end up in poverty! Nowadays, women have the right to divorce without society stigmatizing them, and they get 50% of the family assets and custody of children. So these judges should just continue in their shipikisha marriages – for us young ones, we really cant be bothered to stick to useless men
Both men and women should learn to be selfless, transparent, accountable, productive, respectful, accomodating, and above all, have a godly attitude towards marriage. Pray for each other everyday and do not allow evil thoughts to be realised/ applied in your marriage. The only “mine” in marriage shud be your spouse.
Sometimes people divorce simply because they have grown apart, thats life. Dysfunctional marriages are no better than divorce. To stay or to leave is not the business of the state or bloggers, other than the two people involved.
The real reason for divorces is people turning to a Ms Chakuti Chakuti for counsel, somebody who probably has never been married herself. It is the same as getting marital advice from a Catholic priest who has never stayed a single day with a woman. Married people should stop going for counselling to people who have never been married or who have been divorced so many times. You don’t learn much from failures or non-participants in marriage!
Marriage values are well defined in the Bible, I question your thinking capacity. Leave the Catholics alone.
Zambia Yalionaika a kale. I’m about to wake up in the States. To a cool breeze very soon. We have lost it in Zambia. We a Christian Nation on paper but the deeds do not point to that.
Guys being married is not easy it is a journey that each partner has to work hard at all times. It is very important to realize that the person one is marrying is the same face you will wake up to every morning( whether ugly or beautiful) I can assure you it is never the same after ten years of marriage. If yours (marriage) can survive the ten year stint you are one of the lucky few. communication is paramount in a relationship men are to blame in some cases because they feel good chasing other skirts and for no apparent reason. How do you think a young girl feels when an older man wants to have an affair with her??? she thinks the man does not love his wife and will leave her . Let us have God present in our marriages at all times
girls today are not interested in marriages,reason being that most of the girls may want a very luxury life,and that can not stand a marriage.most of the girl when reach pubate stage few are taken for teachings,instead they just join word activities,with no picture to what is involed.bana chibusa mwanpesha.maybe we ask posters to start teaching treditional ideas.maybe on one area they might be sorry.
The reason why some women would seek separation are far less complex than assumed. Firstly I for one fantasize about divorcing my husband to gain my freedom to do as I like because now he shows me less love, all i do is wait for him, he is always reading that news or watching football. i am tired and love aint fixing my frustration right now.
This is my testimony about the good work of a man who helped me..My name is shan George, and I base in London.My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end,and was falling apart. Thanks to a spell caster called papa Justus who i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I was searching for a good spell caster that can solve my problems. I came across series of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. There was one particular testimony I saw, it was about a woman called grace,she testified about how papa
Women are taking less crap from men. I will never stick to a man who doesn’t know how to treat me well. I will dump you, get 50% of your wealth and get my kids!!!!!