“Zambia Police Thwart Plot Against President Hichilema, Arrest Two Suspects”
This headline jumps off the page as a mix of tension and incredulity. The Lusaka Times alerts us to a serious threat against the president. In contrast, the BBC adds a whimsical twist, portraying him as an unwitting target of witchdoctor. And who thought Zambian politics could blend a mix of fear and farce?
I can’t help but chuckle at the thought of our police casting a net wide enough to include witch doctors as bodyguards for our fearless president. It’s impossible not to see the absurdity in it all—what could be more modern than surrounding a leader with a group of witch doctors? But this isn’t just a joke; it’s a serious situation wrapped in intrigue and satire.
How could the president work without someone like Seer 1 by his side? Our beloved President is vulnerable, like a lone candle flickering in untold darkness. For years, whispers have echoed among UPND supporters about the need to protect the president against witches—they believe a supernatural touch could really make a difference. Only an army of witches could fend off the darker forces.
Let’s not gloss over the gravity of this situation—there’s a palpable air of desperation among those seeking to undermine President Hichilema. Our police force are heroes; they’ve shown remarkable skills in this high-stakes game. Treason is a lurking beast, and we’ve narrowly escaped its clutches. This is indeed satire, but one that feels all too real.
The revelations are striking: our nation’s struggles may stem from a sinister malevolence aimed at distracting and destabilizing our leader. It’s not just confusion; he’s caught in a web spun by unseen enemies. We now have an answer—the president’s countless promises cannot be fulfilled when he is under a spell! Only experienced witches will ensure his protection.
Now, let’s not ignore the awkward truth: the president’s challenges may be more than mere coincidences, possibly tangled up in the chatter of dark magic. So, to all the witches out there, take heed! The Zambia Police have no intentions of playing games; they’re charging forward, determined to confront these supernatural threats head-on—witch arrests might just become the new norm.
Praise God, witch doctors now surround the president; no witch will get away with it. Shouldn’t we add a specialized unit of “witch doctors”—yes, I mean exactly that—ready to stand as a formidable line against any encroaching danger? Without Seer 1 and his powers, President HH is vulnerably exposed like a dying flower in malignant heat. Having an office of witches at the State House is not a bad idea after all.
So let’s rally our spirits! It’s time to approach witchcraft with the seriousness it deserves—not as a punchline but as a vital component of safeguarding the president. Going forward, we must ensure the safety of our president with “abracadabra.” This unpredictable tale must serve as a reminder to all UPND politicians—beg Seer 1 again; or else the president is in danger!
By Kapya Kaoma
Such an irony that a church elder appears to think that Jesus’ protection is insufficient to thwart the powers of witchcraft! Indeed Zambia has two curses; fake Christianity and witchcraft, and circa 95% of the population is captured by the two. Awfully sad.
If you know GOD,then you must believe that there is an opposite.Only a fo*ol says there is no GOD,because what has been hidden from the wise and the prudent is revealed to the babies and those who suckle
Even the Americans say”In GOD we Trust”
Is this a joke or something ???
Right now two individuals are appearing in court over the same
It is NOT a joke. The New Dawn is in darkness. The darkest hour is just before dawn.
When everyone went to pray on the Day of National prayers last year the president went to a shrine in Monze and attended a traditional ceremony to appease some spirit.
When the president won the 2021 elections aa known christian group went to exorcise the blackness of State House. The UPND are the most spiritistic cult any person can ever think of. To them basically so our president without the help of herbalists, he would have by now been a chameleon. Which I think JJ already succeeded to change him into: a chameleon.
Anit you curious that the PF members mentioned by Seer 1 not so long ago has having been gifted with “rings of powers” are the same being incarcerated today?
As if there is some thing special about witched visiting him, witches visit all of us daily. Let’s focus on bread and butter issues please
The country is being put to shame. Maybe that’s why he’s not shifted to the official residence…. he’s deeply involved in the activities of darkness….a university graduate, a man who has shaken hands with the King of England.
Our country is now a joke of the international community.
“witch arrests might just become the new norm” Where do you live Mr Kapya Kaoma? In Zambia, the Police already are keeping an eye out for witches. Just a week ago, the Police had to arrest some homeless men who were taking a bath outside the Lusaka high court. They were charged with witchcraft.
Do witchdoctors use witchcraft to bewitch others?
No they use chameleons
Do witchdoctors use witchcraft to bewitch others? Are they guilty of use of witchraft too?
THIS IS PRACTICLE JOKE INDOSHI UKULOWA PRESIDENT NOT IN STATE HOUSE !!
EVEN LAW ENFORCEMENT APPREHEND WITCHES , WHAO !
GOD BLESS AND HELP OUR NATION
Hogwash!
Why didn’t they bewitch Welensky or Smith?
This is one Joke of the year. 95% of Zambians are fake Christians, scammers and commen.
Nothing special about this as there is witchcraft practicing in many African and Asian countries
Just ask the football teams. Napsa were well known for this
I am also a wichcraft. At night i turn into a crocodile to exact people. Iamnow 99 years ago. Join me
I am now in Mufulira in Kamuchanga. I a witchcraft. HH must not date to come. I will eat him.
Lungu knows the juju left in that eagle house, ask him?