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Medical humour

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Three 4th year chemical pathology students were so confident that the weekend before their final exams, they decided to go up to Kitwe and party with some friends up there. They had a great time. However, after all the partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to Ridgeway campus until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the exam then, they decided to find their lecturer, Dr Kaile, after the exam and explain to him why they missed it.

They explained that they had gone to Kitwe for the weekend with the plan to come back and study unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn’t have a spare, and couldn’t get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.

The lecturer thought it over and then agreed they could take the final exam the following day. The guys were elated and relieved.

They studied that night and went in the next day, at the time the lecturer had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.

They looked at the first problem, worth 10 points. It was something simple about describing the basic effect of insulin on carbohydrate metabolism in skeletal muscle.”Cool,” they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room. “This is going to be easy.”

Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On the second page was written:

(For 90 points): Which tire?

3% Mining Royalties Not-Negotiable

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Zambia FlagMinister of Mines and Minerals, Dr. Kalombo Mwansa, said today the ministry was updating its policies to encourage continued private investment in the country, but said increased royalties of 3% on mining sales were “not negotiable”.

Mwansa said Zambia would not delay the implementation of the new royalties, as the country needed money in its coffers “as soon as possible” to further economic development in Zambia.

Responding to a question from the media at a mining conference at Livingstone in Zambia, he said the 3% royalty would not be “negotiable” as foreign mining companies were making “huge profits” and could certainly afford a levy in that range.

“The people of Zambia want to see how they are benefiting from the local copper industry. We have looked at royalties in the region and globally, and regard 3% as ‘realistic’.”

He added that legislation that requires that new mines in the country had a “certain percentage of local ownership” – essentially an empowerment law – was enacted last year, but a committee still had to be appointed to enforce this law.

He could not elaborate on the requirements in the law.

Mwansa said he was “generally satisfied” with Chinese investment of $800 million in the country as this translated into more jobs and increased taxes.

Chinese and other mining companies were permitted to bring employees with certain skills into the country, but this depended on the size of their investments. Zambia had a very skilled mining work force, but for instance did not have many geologists.

The Zambian government recognised the need to reduce the cost of doing business in the country and was therefore “streamlining” the administration and processing of mineral rights.

“We have seen the need for change and are working on issuing mining rights more speedily.”

The Ministry of Mines and Minerals has partnered with the World Bank and European Union to re-design and modernise the existing mining rights licensing system in Zambia, which would position Zambia in line with international best practice.

The mining sector in Zambia has regained its dominant role in the local economy with investment of $2 billion in this sector since 2000.

The government intended to keep the mining sector “risk-free” in order to attract more investments. This included focusing on the safety of workers by increasing the number of mining inspectors.

Zambia’s finance minister, Ngandu Magande, said during his annual speech to parliament in Lusaka on Friday, that the country would increase royalties to 3 percent of mining companies’ sales in order to benefit from their increased earnings.

Royalties were previously set at 0.6% for base metals and at 2% for precious metals.

Zambia will also increase mining companies’ income tax rates to 30 percent, from 25 percent, and will reintroduce a 15% withholding tax on dividends, interest, royalties, management fees and payments to affiliates, Magande said.

Copper accounts for about 70 percent of Zambia’s export income and production has been rising in recent years after the government sold the industry back to private investors after taking it over in the early 1970s.

Copper prices almost doubled last year. Zambia produced 458,296 t of copper between January and November 2006, 14% more than the 400,593 t produced a year earlier, according to statistics from the Bank of Zambia.

Zambian Football Pro’s Hit List

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DENMARK.

Striker Chris Katongo made his top-flight debut as a substitute for Brondby on Sunday in the clubs’ 10 away victory at FC Copenhagen in the opening game of the Danish Super League.

Katongo did not score on his debut.

FRANCE.

Striker Jacob Mulenga scored Chateauroux’s lone goal on Friday in the 5th placed Ligue 2 clubs 3-1 away defeat at 17th positioned Istres.

Mulenga played the full 90 minutes.

GERMANY.

-ALEMANNIA AACHEN: Defender Moses Sichone did not play in Aachen’s 0-0 away Bundesliga draw against fellow strugglers Borussia Monchengladbach on Saturday.

Aachen are 15th and ‘Gladbach just below them in 16th spot.

-PADERBORN: Midfielder Andrew Sinkala played the full 90 minutes in 2.Bundesliga club and 12th positioned Paderborn’s 2-0 away win at number 11 placed Kicker Offenbach on Sunday.

SOUTH AFRICA.

-KAIZER CHIEFS-GOLDEN ARROWS: Rotson Kilambe played the full 90 minutes for 7th placed Chiefs in their 1-0 home defeat at the hands of 12th positioned Golden Arrows on Saturday.

Ex-Zambia goalkeeper Davies Phiri, defenders Kampamba Chintu and Billy Mwanza all played the full 90 minutes for Arrows.

SUPERSPORT UNITED: Midfielder James Chamanga started for 2nd placed SuperSport on Sunday in their 1-0 home loss at the hands of 10th positioned Orlando Pirates.

Chamanga was substituted in the 70th minute.

Courtesy of Kalumiana Kalumiana

Take care Motorists warned

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Sinazongwe District Commissioner (DC) has warned motorists coming to the district for the first time to travel during the day because the road is in a deplorable state.

Mr. Lavain Apuleni told ZANIS that the Maamba-Batooka road has no signs and heavy rains have washed away part of the road.He advised all motorists to drive slowly and those coming for first time at night should sleep in Batooka or Choma.

Last week a truck carrying mealie meal to Maamba collapsed in a culvert that was washed away by heavy rains.
The DC pointed out that JJLow did shoddy job on the Maamba-Batooka road and as a result  culverts were collapsing.

He said that he has been vindicated because he told them last year that the work they did was poor.

Mr. Apuleni expressed sadness for Malima people who have been cut of from the rest of the district that he could not walk to the area as a free man because he had been assuring them that the road would be worked on.

“I can not walk to that area. I have been assuring them not to worry since last year that the washed away bridges will be worked on,I sympathise with them ,” the Dc said.

The Dc said he hopes the bridges would be worked on during the dry season.

He said Malima is a strong hold of agriculture in the district adding that in an event of a referral to the Maamba Hospital life may be lost because the road was impassable.

And Chief Sinazongwe disclosed that there will be hunger in the district because people that planted their crops along the banks of the streams have been washed away by heavy rains.

The Chief said fertilizer has also not worked because it was swept away immediately people applied it.

He said that 10 bridges have been washed away along Sinzaze-Chiyabi roads which also connect Malima people.

“People can not move to Chiyabi and Malima area and about 10 bridges have been swept,” the Chief said.

Even Chief Sinazongwe’s Maliko Palace has been cut of and it has become an island.

“I am at an Island now no visitors are coming here you are the first visitors since I was cut off,” Chief Sinazongwe said

Boarder dispute to erupts warns Chief Sinazongwe

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Chief Sinazongwe has charged that Senior Chief Mweemba is creating new villages in his kingdom and has urged government to send surveyors to re-demarcate the area before a dispute erupts.

Chief Sinazongwe has since urged his counterpart that conflict was not needed at the moment.

He, however, said demarcations would assist new chiefs to be aware of their boundaries, to avoid encroaching on someone’s territory, and to reduce tension.

“I have seen that boundaries cause problems so government should come and re-demarcate them because Chief Mweemba does not know where his boundary ends,” Chief Sinazongwe said.

ZANIS/TN/ENDstrong>

Chief Mweemba calls for shifting, renaming Sinazongwe

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Senior Chief Mweemba has said that his people do not want anything but to shift Sinazongwe district at a central place and to rename it as Dindi .

However, Chief Sinazongwe said his subjects would never accept the district to be named Dindi because it means a grave.

 

Senior Chief Mweemba said that it pains him to see his subjects travel for distance of 160 Km to get registration card and traveling documents when the district is supposed to be at a central place.

“We do not want anything, the Boma should be at the centre, the name should be changed, and it should be named Dindi which means valley,” the Senior Chief said.

As the Senior Chief was being interviewed by ZANIS in the background was a poster written: “Have you come to solve my problems or to multiply them.”

 

The Senior Chief said initially the district was in Maamba but the white settlers took it to Sinazongwe because of their love for water.

 

He said he does not hate anyone for proposing to change the name and to shift the district because he wants all the people to have a fair deal.

 

The said he was ready to meet Chief Sinazongwe to discuss the matter and urged government to unit them in addressing the issue.

“We are the only chiefs in the district and we need to unit,” Senior Chief Mweemba said.

 

But Chief Sinzongwe said his subject would not accept the idea of renaming the district and shifting it because it was Senior Chief Mweemba’s sole decision.

“My people will never accept that name because Dindi is a grave not a valley. This district can not become a grave,” Chief Sinazongwe said.

He said Senior Chief Mweemba has failed to meet them on three occasions to discuss the matter and he wondered why he has continued to push the matter.

 

Chief Sinazongwe said Senior Chief Mweemba should understand government and the implication of changing the district because it involves huge sums of money.

 

He urged his counterpart to talk to the Local government to create a sub-district because the issue of shifting the district would drag on.

The chief said from 1959 when Sinazongwe was declared a district in his chiefdom there were no complaints until 2005.

Chief Sinazongwe disclosed that Chief Mweemba and his subjects are complaining because the Member of Parliament (MP) Raphael Muyanda is from his chiefdom while from 1964 to 2001 all MPs have been coming from Chief Mweemba area.

“Now we have one MP they have started complaining and us we never complained, we were voting for their people,  they do not want to be ruled, now am warning them that this time they will never have an MP till eternity,” Chief Sinazongwe.

He said it was people that could take development to their areas rather than shifting structures of the district.

Chief Sinazongwe said Senior Chief Mweemba should be thank government because most of the structures are in his Kingdom.

“ Chief Mweemba should thank government, they have the high School, the Hospital, Maamba coal mine, Gwembe Tonga development project  built more structures in his Kingdom and I am wondering why he keeps on complaing,” Chief Sinazongwe said.

Chief Sinazongwe said he has nothing in his kingdom apart from the district.

 

ZANIS/END/TN

EIBP sign Boxing MoU with Clearing Angoni

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Exodus International Boxing Promotion (EIBP) has signed a Memorandum of Understanding with Clearing Angoni company Limited to promote the boxing  in Zambia.

EIBP Executive Director  Anthony Mwamba said the MOU between hi association and
Angoni Clearing Company was to raise funds for the upcoming international boxing
tournaments slated for March 18th, 2007.

Mwamba disclosed to ZANIS that the MOU would also prepare World Flyweight champion
Ester Phiri defend her title against Bulgarian challenger, Monica Vilentvilenovent.

And Angoni Clearing Director Vernon  Mwaanga Junior said his company’s realizes the
importance boxing plays in the development of society .

Mwaanga stressed that his company was interested in supporting the boxing through
marketing and advertising to promote and improve it saying the sport has received
less attention.

“Boxing is one of the sports in Zambia which has usually encountered less support
hence the this reason for signing the MOU in order to support boxing through
advertising and marketing it locally and internationally” Mwaanga revealed.  .

ZANIS

State partners with World Bank, EU over mining rights

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Dr. Kalombo Mwansa has disclosed that his ministry has partnered with the World Bank and the European Union in redesigning and  modernising the existing mining rights in the licensing system in Zambia.

He said the new mining system CADASPRE will position Zambia in line with
international best practices and that streamlining the administration of mining
rights will make the sector more efficient

The Minister said the mining sector in the country plays a dominant role in the
economy hence the economic and mining policies promoting private sector initiative
and investment in the development of  the mining industry.

Dr Mwansa said since ZCCM privatisation in 2000 more than US$2 billion has been
invested in the mining sector and underscored that Government will continue creating
and maintaining a conducive environment for private sector participation.

He further disclosed that efforts are underway to update the mining policy and
existing mining laws and regulations to suit the changing mining environment.

The Minister said the reforms will enhance the  already favourable investment
climate in the mining sector.

Dr Kalombo said Government intends to keep the mining sector risk free and Zambia a
highly attractive investment destination.

He said the stable and predictable fiscal resume prevailing in the country and the
legislative provision will continue to provide an assurance to both local and
foreign investors.

“The exploration activities which are in progress in Zambia have resulted in a
number of discovering which are likely to lead to the development of new mines”, Dr
Mwansa said..

The annual Africa Mining Congress 2007 has drawn international companies and
investors from around the World to Livingstone for a second year
running with a total of 24 mining companies represented at this year’s conference.
Participation has increased by 70 percent this year as compared to last year.

Prunning Tips

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Good garden maintenance is essential- that doesn’t mean simply watering regularly. You need the right products and tools to get the most out of your garden. Here are some handy pruning tips.

Why should you prune?

Careful pruning results in healthier and stronger plants, sturdier growth, more abundant fruits and larger blooms. Pruning controls the shape, size and symmetry of plantings.
Healthier Plants – It is a drain on the energy reserves of any plant to support dead, broken or diseased branches. Dead wood gives insects and plant diseases an easy place to attack, endangering the entire plant. They should be cut off as soon as noticed.

Control Growth – Pruning gives a young plant a good basic structure and helps you manipulate the plant to grow into certain shape to fit the landscape design.

Bloom and Fruit
– Blossoms that increase in size and quantity are usually the result of proper balance between the foliage and the roots. Bare woody stems, where blooms are sparse can be removed safely with proper handling.

When to prune?

Its better not to prune than to prune incorrectly! In general the best time to prune most plants is late winter or early spring just before the first growth appears.

Implements

Quality implements that have been well maintained will last a lifetime. Store them in a dry place to prevent rust. Ensure they are pest free by disinfecting them with bleach or Jeyes Fluid after pruning.

How to prune

Cuts must be smooth. Ensure pruning sheers are sharp so they do not rip the bark. Auxillary buds must be o the outside of the branch once you have completed the pruning. Prune branches at an angle so water runs down them.

courtesy by Carmen Cilliers

My experience working in the eastern cape

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I had to meet Prof A at the reception of the hospital at 7.15hrs. He was to introduce me to the people in the surgical department. As I stood there nervous wondering what the day would be like. I looked around this newly built hospital. It was pretty impressive. A far cry from my beloved UTH in Lusaka. Its corridors were sparkling clean. It didn’t even smell like a hospital!

“Dr. K.N,”I heard his frail voice say.

“Oh! good morning Prof A,”I responded.

“Shall we proceed to the surgical meeting,” he said hurriedly. We walked through immaculate wards, took an elevator to the 4th floor. Very impressive I thought. I was always terrified of those old un-serviced elevators at UTH. I was always close to having a panic attack when I was in Dr. Kasebas unit and had to use an elevator to get to ward C. Prof A lead me to a conference room full of surgeons. I felt their eyes on me as I slipped into a chair in the front. The only free chair had to be in front!

There was an intern presenting the patients she had admitted the previous night. She was describing how she performed an appendicectomy. I felt intimidated. All I had done on my own as an intern were I&Ds and MUAs! Most operations I just assisted or observed!
I remembered the story Dr.S.Banda had told us in 3rd year, about how he went to the U.K and people thought he was brain dead but soon got to know he was deadly brain! When the consultants started “wiring”, I realized I knew the answers after all.

I was later put in a unit. The people were unfriendly and conducted the ward round in their local language. They took no notice of me. I told myself I wasn’t going to put up with that and sneaked out of the round. I went to the trauma unit headed by a Ugandan neuro-surgeon. His medical officer was Ghananian. They were glad to have me and I stayed in that unit for the rest of my rotation in surgery!

The surgical department was far from organized. You would get doctors on call running clinics simultaneously and forgetting the emergency cases in the casualty wards .I appreciated the way the surgical department was organized when I was at UTH.

There was one case where a young man had been brought to the casualty after being assaulted. He was not fully examined and only left on ringers lactate for about 8hrs.
Whilst seeing another patient we accidentally saw this patient whose Glasgow coma scale was falling. Apparently the patient had been shot in the back and the admitting doctor had missed it! It was then I really appreciated Prof Krikor, who taught us to always examine a patient fully! I thought no U.T.H trained doctor would have made such a blunder! From then on I walked with my head high as I acquired a new confidence.

Though I was trained in a dilapidated hospital which had no drugs and high tech equipment, the way I treat my patients is far superior than those trained in this world class hospital!

Govt steps up measures to rid streets of kids

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Street KidGovernment has stepped up measures to rid streets of Lusaka and other big towns of street kids and has subsequently called on the members of the public to stop giving handouts to children in the streets. Community Development and Social Services Minister Catherine Namugala said Government’s strategy is based on principles of prevention, rehabilitation and reintegration of all street children.

Ms Namugala said giving money, food and clothes to street children only encouraged them to remain in the streets where boys engaged in crime and girls in prostitution. The Minister said assistance to street children would only make sense if given to an established childcare facility rather than to them while still on the streets.

She called on all Zambians to develop a culture of assisting institutions that cared for children as a way of partnering with Government in solving the problem of street kids.

Ms Namugala was speaking in Lusaka yesterday when she officially launched the Street Children Reintegration Programme and handed over two vehicles to the Social Welfare Departments for Lusaka and Copperbelt Provinces.

She said the Welfare Departments should use the vehicles for the intended purposes of transport and inspecting orphanages and other childcare centres adding that they would have no excuse for not doing so.

Ms Namugala commended all childcare centres for supplementing Government’s efforts in solving the problem of the rising number of street children in the streets, which is posing a great threat to the future of the country.

She, however, urged all people running child care centres not to make business out of the children they cared for adding that their responsibility should be to give them love, care and protection which they could not find in the streets.

Meanwhile, Ms Namugala observed that Members of Parliament (MPs) have a task of sensitising families in their constituencies about the danger of keeping children in the streets.

The Minister noted that through their local Councils, MPs should encourage the extended family system that offers security to orphans and other vulnerable children.

Ms Namugala observed that the cooperation with all stakeholders would greatly enhance Government’s efforts of removing children from the streets and giving them a decent life and education for a better Zambia.

Government unveils a K12 trillion budget

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Government has unveiled a K12 trillion for the year 2007 of which, 72 percent is to be financed domestically while the remaining 28 percent will be from external financing.

Come up with growth oriented, pro- poor budget, Govt told

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Opposition United Party for National Development (UPND) has implored government to come up with a national budget that is growth oriented and pro-poor to reduce poverty the majority Zambians are going through.

Church leader calls on ACC, Taskforce to probe the K3 trillion scandal

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A Lusaka based clergyman has called on the Anti-Corruption Commission and the Taskforce on Corruption to launch investigations into the K 3 trillion reported to have been stolen by some civil servants.

Bailiffs seize goods, vehicles worth million of kwacha in Kafue

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Bailiffs  from the Lusaka High Court today seized office equipment and motor vehicles from two catholic learning institutions and national housing authority in Kafue for failing to settle outstanding ground rates owed to Kafue district Council.